Welcome
Dating in your fifties, sixties and beyond is not the same as dating at twenty five, and it should not pretend to be. You may be here after a divorce, after losing a partner, after years of putting everyone else first, or simply because you would like good company again. Whatever brought you, you are welcome.
We built DateSteady because dating apps felt broken: fake profiles, ghosting, zero accountability. So we did something about it, and we built it to take its time. Everyone confirms a phone number before they can like or send a message. Everyone gives a date of birth. Photos are screened automatically when they are uploaded. Conversations are encrypted. And when someone crosses a line, we act on it. We use layered checks, photo screening and your reports to act on impersonation and scams.
These guidelines are the rules of the house. Please read them once. They are short, they are honest, and they exist so that everyone here can relax and be themselves.
The core principles (the non-negotiables)
Respect. Treat every person here as a whole human being, with a history, boundaries and a life of their own. You do not have to connect with everyone. You do have to be decent to everyone.
Consent. Consent runs through all of this: messages, photos, meeting in person, and anything physical or intimate. "Maybe" is not yes. Silence is not yes. Only yes is yes, and anyone can change their mind at any point.
Honesty. Be yourself, at the age you actually are. Use current photos rather than ones from fifteen years ago. Be straight about what you are looking for, whether that is marriage, companionship, someone to travel with, or something lighter for now. Nobody wants to arrive at a coffee shop and meet a stranger.
Safety. Your safety, and everyone else's, comes first. If something feels off, trust that. Report it.
What's NOT okay here
This list is not exhaustive, but it covers the important things. Break any of these and your account is at risk.
- Harassment & bullying. Including unsolicited sexual messages, pressuring someone after they have said no, messaging again and again after being ignored, or any form of intimidation.
- Hate speech & discrimination. No racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, ageism, religious hate, or any attack based on who someone is. Zero tolerance.
- Fake profiles. No impersonation, no stolen photos, no pretending to be someone else. Our selfie check exists for a reason.
- Scams & solicitation. No investment or crypto pitches, no sugar-daddy or sugar-baby arrangements, no promoting adult subscription or cam sites, no asking anyone for money, no recruiting into a sales scheme, no romance-scam scripts. We look for this and we remove accounts for it.
- Explicit content in public spaces. The photos in your main gallery need to be clothed. No nudes in display photos, and no explicit sexual content in public profile fields.
- Minors or anyone under 18. DateSteady is strictly 18+. A date of birth is required, and an added age check applies where the law requires it. If you believe someone may be underage, report it immediately.
- Violence, weapons, or illegal activity. No promoting violence, no weapons in photos, no drugs, no illegal solicitation.
- Sharing someone's info without consent. Do not screenshot private conversations and post them elsewhere. Do not share anyone's location, real name, workplace or photos. Publishing someone's private details is grounds for an immediate ban.
- Spam. No copy-and-pasted messages sent to lots of people, no links to dubious sites, no advertising.
Your safety toolkit
These exist so that you are never stuck. Use them whenever you want to, and without explaining yourself to anyone.
Age Assurance (VerifyMy). Everyone gives a date of birth and must be 18 or over. Where the law requires it, we use VerifyMy, a third-party age assurance service, to confirm age. It sends us a pass or a fail and nothing else, never the document itself. The age check then shows as done in the list of checks on that profile. We are committed to keeping this platform strictly 18+.
Checks You Can See. There is no "verified" badge on DateSteady. There is a list you can read for yourself. Every profile shows which of the six checks are done: phone, email, age, photos, the optional selfie check and a friend's vouch. A Trust Score sits alongside them. The selfie check is optional: the member took a live selfie and our system compared it with their own profile photo. It shows that the person in the profile photo is the person holding the phone. It does not confirm who they are. Read the checks before you decide how far to trust someone.
Scam Detection. Our systems watch for the patterns romance scams follow: the flattering opener out of nowhere, the investment tip, the quick declaration of love followed a week later by a request for money. When something looks wrong we work to flag it, and we may step in before it reaches you. If one reaches you anyway, report it. That is often how we catch the next one.
Video Call Report Button. Every video call has a report button right there on the screen. If the person is rude, inappropriate, not who their photos suggested, or pushing past your boundaries in any way, one tap ends the call and files the report. Moderators review it.
Block and Report. From any profile or conversation, tap the three dots to block or report. Once you have blocked someone, they cannot see you, cannot message you, and cannot find your profile. They are not told, and you owe them no explanation.
Report System. You can report a message, a profile, a photo, or a video call. Every report is reviewed by a person, not only by automated systems. Serious cases are acted on quickly. Learn more about reporting.
Message Encryption (AES-256-GCM). Your private messages are encrypted in transit and at rest with AES-256-GCM. To keep the community safe, a reviewer may read messages that have been reported for breaking these guidelines. We do not access your messages otherwise, unless the law requires it of us.
Anti-Ghosting. Being left without an answer is not a young person's problem, and we do not think you should have to put up with it. If a two-way conversation goes quiet for a few days, the app sends a friendly nudge to both of you. If someone has left your messages completely unanswered, we send them a quiet reminder after a while, and again a little later if it is still quiet. If there is still no reply, the connection closes on its own and you both get a notification, so you can move on without wondering. You can also close any conversation that has run its course yourself, at any time, with an optional goodbye message.
Photo Privacy Tiers. Your gallery photos are the ones everybody can see. Your private photos are locked, and you choose who gets access, one person at a time. If you would rather not be visible to the whole neighbourhood, your colleagues, or grown children with opinions while you find your feet, that is a perfectly reasonable place to start.
Invisible (VIP). Look at profiles without appearing in anyone's "who viewed me" list. Useful if you would rather take your time before anyone notices you are here.
Read Receipts Toggle (VIP). Decide whether people can see that you have read their message. You choose what you reveal.
Child safety
DateSteady has a zero-tolerance policy for content that exploits or endangers minors. We believe we all have a genuine moral and legal responsibility to protect children, and we take this with the utmost seriousness.
We require a date of birth at sign-up and an added age check where the law requires it. We actively monitor for signs of underage users or content involving minors. Any account found to be operated by or targeting a minor is permanently banned immediately, no exceptions.
If you encounter any content that appears to exploit or endanger a child:
- Report it immediately using the in-app report function.
- Contact us directly at safety@datesteady.com with the subject line "CHILD SAFETY".
- Report to the Canadian Centre for Child Protection (Cybertip.ca).
- In the US, report to the FBI.
- In the UK, report to the Internet Watch Foundation (IWF).
- If a child is in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services first.
We report illegal content involving minors to the relevant authorities and cooperate fully with all law enforcement investigations.
If something feels off
Trust your instincts. You have had decades to build them. If a conversation is making you uncomfortable, if a profile does not quite add up, if someone is pushing you, act on that.
- Block them. Tap the three dots on their profile or in the conversation, and choose Block.
- Report them. Same menu, tap Report, pick a reason. It is quick.
- Reach out to us. Email support@datesteady.com or use the in-app support chat. For urgent safety issues, mark it urgent.
- If you're in danger: contact your local emergency services. Your safety comes before anything else, including finishing the report.
What happens if someone breaks the rules
We take reports seriously. Here is how we handle violations:
- Warning. For minor violations, we may issue a warning and remove the offending content.
- Temporary suspension. For repeated issues or more serious behaviour, the account is suspended for a period.
- Permanent ban. For severe violations: harassment, hate speech, scams, threats, anything involving a minor, or publishing someone's private details. The account is permanently removed. We also block the device and the identifiers tied to that account.
Some things get an instant permanent ban: illegal content, threats of violence, sexual content involving minors, organised scam networks. We report these to the relevant authorities and cooperate fully with law enforcement.
These guidelines may change
We update these guidelines as the platform evolves and as we learn. We will notify you of significant updates, but we encourage you to check back periodically.
One more thing
Most of the people you will meet here are good company: kind, interesting, and carrying a life worth hearing about. The guidelines exist for the small number who are not, so that they cannot spoil it for everyone else.
Be the person you would like to meet. Be kind, be honest, and be direct about what you actually want. You have earned the right to say it plainly. Respect other people's no. Trust your own yes.
There is no hurry here. Take the time you need.
Thanks for being here.
- The DateSteady Team